CosplayMinionBello. Bulaka? Ka paslay da scripto ba notpac idsa-a een Minionese, pelo pak, muka, foub ko a mupa gib tut. Dul e hana Minoni, Kevin, Stuart, Bob wak awak Orlando! Villain-Con, aya Scarlet is da bomba. Kevin ditit Boss! Stiel La Cucaracha crown, KING BOB! Uh-Oh, Scarlet. et buh-dees sab a’day!


If you’re still reading you may have gleaned two things about Minions. First, I like minions, and generally enjoyed the film. Second, Minionese gets irritating when it comprises the majority of the dialog. If you love the minions enough to watch all of their short films back to back for ninety minutes, you will enjoy this film and should probably see it in theatres. If you think they are cute and add extra flavor to a movie powered by characters with more depth, you will probably not enjoy this film as much.

Minions actually starts out kind of slow but funny with the prehistoric origin of the gibbering yellow pill-bodies. Then it grinds almost to a halt as the tribe of irrepressible assistants hides in an ice cave. It is like that first clanking chain, which lifts the rider’s car to the top of the first hill of a rollercoaster. We’re carried by the expectant glee of what we know comes next. Then we crest that hill, with the heroic trio of minions arriving in New York, and the movie doesn’t stop or even slow down for eighty five minutes.

The frantic pace of the film and nonsensical speaking doesn’t just glue the target audience to their seats, it laminates them, takes the air out of the room and dips them in epoxy. I have never seen children be so still en masse.

For a more sophisticated pallet, however, the lack of an English-speaking lead makes the film a bit too frantic. The minions make for great supporting characters and comedy filler. As lead roles, it is more like making a meal of cotton candy. Sure you enjoy it while you are eating it, but you didn’t really fill up, and if you continue your indulgence for too long you start to feel that this wasn’t as good an idea as it seemed.

There are a lot of great little gags.  Like Home earlier this year, there is one joke where I was the loudest laugh in the room. The story is coherent, told through the silly actions and aided by some convenient humans like Queen Elizabeth II, Herb and Scarlet Overkill, and a narrator. Set, principally, in the 1960’s the soundtrack includes the requisite period pieces performed by The Beatles, KC and the Sunshine Band, The Who, and The Doors (yes, a children’s movie has Jim Morrison’s voice in it).

For a children’s film, there is a significant amount of death—not the minions.  They are basically revealed as immortal. The same cannot be said for the bosses they serve.

It is okay, though, everyone comes out for the curtain call after the closing credits.