Yeah, yeah, yet another movie review. What can I say, I write and draw comics, watch movies, and play video games. Trust me, a review of Flight of the Phoenix is going to be more entertaining than a description of the four horse pills I take with my breakfast. Unless you really want to know what City of Heroes server on which I play; in which case finding out that I brought my level 50 blaster in to shorten the “Defeat Atta and his Guards in the Hollows” (for no exp) mission, and actually killed Atta with a single blow might be more interesting.

D.E.B.S is about a lesbian super criminal seducing a top agent trainee from an all-girl prep school with guns.

Still want to hear about the City of Heroes mission?

I thought so. On to the movie review:
D.E.B.S. was originally a 15 minute internet released film, it is now also a direct to DVD 91 minute feature. Written, directed, produced, edited, and by Angela Robinson, it was a pretty good joke as a 15 minute short. It is not a bad movie. It is not a great movie. On describing the film to Marc, he remarked, “it’s a lesbian version of Alias.” That’s a pretty accurate assessment. Though its story is more teen-moviesque than the contortions through which Alias goes.

A secret test hidden inside the S.A.T. measures young girls’ ability to become spies. Those who score high on the hidden portion of the test are approached and recruited to become secret agents for D.E.B. (the whole movie goes by before we learn that it means Discipline, Expertise, Beauty; I wouldn’t normally give something like that away, but it isn’t that good a payoff). The D.E.B.s are an all-girl school of spies in white button-ups and plaid skirts. All-girl, except Michael Clark Duncan who is a figure of undisclosed authority within the organization (while putting this baritone giant in a white button up and plaid skirt may have been hilarious, we are spared viewing his tree-trunk-like legs. He wears a suit).

Angela Robinson not so clearly has an agenda with this film. On looking for a link to the original short, I found that the first found site was The film is clearly pro-lesbian, so this shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone. What I didn’t realize was that the writer, director, producer, editor, by credited person is a sort of poster child for lesbian success stories, and this film heralded as a success in that endeavor. I thought the spontaneous switch in the main character from trying to break up with her boyfriend from Homeland Security to suddenly being involved in a lesbian relationship with a super criminal was a rather abrupt change, sort of gratuitous, like a film targeted at college frat boys might do. “Dude, now she’s a lesbian, so we can see those two hot chicks making out!” I wouldn’t think of this as advancing to gay and lesbian issues, but they seem to.

The eye candy, the film’s most redeeming feature (for straight men), wasn’t bad. It seemed to me that they hiked the lead actress’s skirt up and extra two inches to draw the viewer’s eye to her. It works. But it was also necessary. It’s not that she’s unattractive, she’s just not eye catching. The villainess, on the other hand, is a much better eye-pull, even in her black jump suit. There is no nudity in this film, which would have been a crutch.

There are some good bits, like the force-field protecting the school being colored plaid, or the secret meeting between the super-criminal and an ex-KGB turned freelance assassin actually being a blind date, but mostly it’s pretty pedestrian. The totally teen joke “What did I tell you when we first met?” “That’s my bunk, bitch?” “After that.” was funny and well timed the first time it was used. The second time, thirty minutes later, it was like getting hit with a sack full of “done that one already.”

Don’t get me wrong, I have written several articles, under various pseudonyms, reminding proclaimers of originality that there is nothing new in this world. But, when one delivers a good joke, you shouldn’t repeat it in the same episode, nearly verbatim, just because it could be used. Running gags are different, like the villainess’s penchant for submerging Australia, this wasn’t a running gag, or if it was supposed to be, it failed to convey that.

Should you see this film? If you’re predisposed to like very campy lipstick spies, short plaid skirts that never come off, or lesbians for the sake of girls kissing and being in love with just anyone regardless of gender, then you could consider it. If you’re looking for a funny comedy poking fun of the conventional spy movie and the traditional roles of hero and villain, then don’t bother, D.E.B.S. doesn’t do that good a job of it.